Perfection in the eyes of Utopia
Monday, September 22, 2008
What is perfection?
The winds of change seem to have enveloped somany around me and as I look into the mirror, I sometimes wonder to what extent it has affected me.
I realise I miss the old me. I miss the icy, rock hard facade I used to be able to conjure up in front of me. Goodness, how I've changed. I miss the ruthless me, being able to make logical and practical decisions based on whim.
Now, I'm at the mercy of nature and people.
I have never believed anyone when they say that 'you shouldn't care what others think.'
Well, no man is an island. And as far as things go, people's opinion do matter in this world. It shapes a person's future. No matter what people say, what they say and do is heavily dependent on those around them.
I'm just waiting, waiting for the right time to close and end this one chapter of my life, allowing me to start another.
By the way, one of the very few people qualified to say I've changed said I've become nicer. Which obviously made me laugh.
I guess its supposed to make me feel good, but truthfully, I'm not.
To a certain extent, I enjoyed being ruthless when playing this game. Afterall, it is this streak that allowed me to stay ahead. Look what has happened when I took my foot off the pedal. I lost.
This ruthless, manipulative streak brought me, above all things, a sense of security and protection.
Lets see now, who's the first person to create the spark, that which will start the avalanche.
As I look at all of those around me, I cannot help but wonder, where did I go wrong?
--Merci tout le monde--
11:36 PM
