Reading people's blogs, and each seem to be writing their own reviews of the past year. Me? I did mine and as I grapple with trying to exorcise the ghosts of my past, I try look towards the future, with a sense of optimism.

Yet no matter how hard I try, the past always has a way of appearing again and coming full circle.

I talked to Nadiah yesterday. Arguably, she is my oldest friend, though we went on hiatus for abt 2 years? Since primary 2 our fates have intertwined and she always seem to pop up in conversations or random events.

The past.
I realise, whenever I mention the past, I always talk abt the same things. About the same people in my primary school life including Nadiah, Zawani, Haikal, Hafiz, Suhaimi, Hakim, Azyan, Syafiqah, Farhan, Khairul (Notice they are all malays) and to a certain extent Jonathan, June, Heather, Zhi Ying, Benjamin.
I think this was the only stage of my life where all my closest friends were malays. HAHA. Actually I think I might have been abit racist in primary school.

Very few of my close friends are now malays. maybe 2 or 3?

Oh how times have changed.

Yet now, what do I do? Ophix's reign in TP has ended and most are living in the shadows of the past. The future is uncertain.

Everytime I try to strengthen the walls that separate me with pain, I fail spectacularly.

The New Year was terrible and I think that was the first time anyone in my family saw me in that pathetic situation.

Grace recommends me to not shun myself from the world that I desparately want to avoid.

I guess I cannot avoid that. But that doesnt mean I have to let anyone in. 10:26 PM